Francis' Odyssey
by Eryn Galen
Summary: Francis knows he's gay, but his family dosn't, what happens when he brings home a boyfriend ... who grew up in Bel Air? CHAPTER 5 FINALLY OUT AND UPDATED! PLEASE R&R! ON HOLD SORRY!
1. to call or not to call

A/N: just for the sake of the plot Francis never met Piana (his wife)

A/N2: as this is my first attempt at a Malcolm in the middle fic, and although my knowledge of the series is quite good (I've seen every episode so far!) I have no idea where their house is situated! If anyone knows please tell me.

A/N3: I don't think this type of fic has ever been done before, so please give it a go **and all types of reviews are welcome, be it flames or praise, I want to hear whatever you've got to say!**

Warnings: FrancisOMC romance of the slash kind! **That means this** **is slash, so if you don't like, don't read. **AU.

Disclaimer: I only own Robert, and the plot, absolutely nothing else is mine! (If it were, I'd be filming about twenty episodes a day!)

Summery: Francis only found out recently that he's gay and he knows it, but the rest of the family doesn't. What happens when in Francis' next time home to a family reunion, he brings someone else? Not just anyone either, a boyfriend! Would the family accept them and their relationship, or would hell be let loose in the form of a rampaging Lois? …… Might the fact that his new boyfriend grew up in Bel Air, and is a multimillionaire change anything? Humour would most defiantly rule the roost in this!

_Note: this whole fic is seen in Francis' P.O.V._

Chapter one: To call or not to call!

I sat at the kitchen table, staring at the phone hanging at the wall, its whole presence almost mocking me. I promised Lois, my mom that I would ring to organise a 'family get together'. Generally everyone in my family would be there, every controlling, stubborn relative.

Joy of all joys.

I can honestly say that my mother terrified me, and I mean _terrified_. I don't know how to break the news to her about my ……revelation, or so Rob calls it seeing as he will be the 'revelation'. Rob's my boyfriend, in case you didn't know, and we've been together for three months now, three heavenly, Lois-free months. Well of course that all going to change after this family gathering.

I suppose the whole irony of me meeting Rob was the fact that I was crusing for babes, not dudes, but I thought that Rob was a girl, because at the time he had longish hair. I was also drunk, which might have helped a bit. Well anyway, we both got rather 'knocked up', shagged like bunnies in heat, and woke up to find ourselves in another man's arms!

Now the strangest thing about all that; was the fact that I actually felt something towards him afterwards, which is unusual for me. He also confessed to some feeling towards me, which, to my surprise, filled me with some foreign feeling. Love? I laughed at first at the notion, but realised that I had never felt so strongly about a girl as I was with him. So we agreed not to talk about it, and we came … mutual friends. Until, of course, when we went to a friend's twenty-first, where we got drunk again, and woke up the next morning with a lot of stickiness. If you get my meaning.

So we tried to take it slow again, but somewhere in that we finally confessed out feelings for each other. So we decided to go out, in a manner of speaking.

Whenever I imagine my mom's reaction, my assumptions always seem to get gradually worse! Like they always do. But I decided I have to call; otherwise she would find a way to contact me, on the other side of the country! When I was younger I honestly thought she was some sort of seceret agent, because she always managed to discover everything in my life, now I realised that I just never hid anything properly.

And then I have to think of the consequences if she dose find me. She'll probably drag me first back to the house, then she would disembowel me. Nice mother, don't you think?

"Are you going to stare at the phone all day?" it was Rob, who had apparently only just woken up, seeing as he was in his pyjamas. With no shirt I might add!

"Yes, if Lois is going to be on the other side" I said. Visually shuddering. Lois really frightens me, heck, she even frightens my dad!

"Aw, she can't be that bad!" Rob protested. Because his parents are out almost all the time, he seems to think everyone else has wonderful loving parents.

"Bad is an understatement" I muttered. Rob laughed at me. I shook my head and looked at my boyfriend. My gorgeous boyfriend at that. His mother is Italian so he has the whole Italian look to him. Dark eyes, tanned skin and dark curly hair. He was just under a year younger than me, about twenty. He was also slightly smaller than me. Although he is really polite and generous, as was expected of him. You see, he grew up in Bel Air. His father is the owner and manager of a multimillion-dollar computer firm and his mother is a famous fashion designer. I almost fainted when I found out exactly how rich my boyfriend actually was. I mean, he did mention that his dad worked with computers, but I assumed it was something like what my dad dose. But when he brought me to his house, no mansion, I was slightly … impressed. So to speak!

At first I was quite embarrassed at first, seeing as my house would have fitted in their kitchen, but when I met his parents, they seemed really nice and didn't act snobbish or posh as I was expecting. This was the kind of living you read in magazines but never expect to witness or experience first hand. Dewy would have loved to live here!

Rob also had no siblings, unlike me with my four younger brothers. (A/N: Jamie is about a year old in this) Rob also attended one of the most expensive private schools in the country, and went to Europe to study for university. Me, being really rubbish at school, was not surprised to find that he was really smart, but not in a geeky sort of way, and he was fluent in many languages, especially the languages of Europe. He would be handy if you went on an all around the world trip. He was also never a troublemaker; in fact he even confessed that he was quite a nerd back in school. I found that hard to believe, but looking back at his school photos, I had to agree with him. Let's just say he had a bit of a spot problem!

Although now, he models for major companies and magazines, and sometimes dose fashion shows. Why he dose it is beyond me. He already has all the money he'd ever want!

I was the complete opposite. I was reckless, cheeky and a serious troublemaker! You would never find me studying or sitting in the library with my nose in a book. And I got into quite a lot of fights as well, and I had my share of detentions and trips to the principles' office. Rob's mother found our differences really funny, but she said that we seemed perfect for each other. His parents had absolutely no problem with the fact that their only child was gay. They only care about his well being. Which also answers for why Rob's father questioned me thoroughly before I met his approval.

Imagining my own family's reaction, I decided that Hal, my dad, would try to accept it, but would probably always end up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or think that some stuff that I like, such as beating up people, would not appeal to me because I'm gay. Lois, well, she's Lois ………. She'll probably accept me or disown me. Not very much choices there, because things will still be a bit tense even if she dose accept, I only hoped that Rob could win her over with his dazzling smile.

Reese would probably think it's weird, but wouldn't be fazed about it if I still prove that I'm still the same Francis he'll accept it. Malcolm, I think he'd be the same as Reese, only I reckon that he'll get along really well with Rob, because Rob was in a special class as well. He could discuss things with Rob that he wouldn't be able to discuss with the rest of our family. Once dewy finds out that Rob's rich, he'll want a motorbike or a plane or something. And Jamie can't talk.

Rob would probably try his best to be accepted into my family. Because his parents are usually out on a business trip or just for a holiday, rob doesn't really see much of any parent figure other than his maid or Bodyguard. Lois would probably be thrilled to do things she wouldn't really be able to do with her own children. Rob likes to cook and stuff so they'll share similar interests. My mom always wanted a girl and the closest thing she's going to get is Rob!

I knew that he got lonely with his parents gone all the time, but he always joked that he could run around the house in his underwear, playing rock songs all through the house, while playing air guitar! I wouldn't put it pat him either! I bet the maids would get a shock though to see their master run around singing!

At the moment neither of Rob's parents is home, so that was when I decided to plan the trip. Which still leads to my dilemma.

To ring or not to ring?

"Sooo… Are you ringing or not?" asked Rob holding the phone to me. I smiled at the childish expression on his face.

"I suppose I should," I said, taking the phone off him. Rob then sat down on the floor in front of me watching me intently. I dialled the numbers and waited. After two rings Malcolm picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hi Malcolm, it's Francis, is mom home?" I asked.

"No, she's out to the shop to get some soap or something, Dewy got his head stuck between the banisters again, so she's out."

I laughed and shook my head.

"Will she be back soon?" I asked.

"Probably, but I'm not going to be around when she dose, it'll be like a grizzly bear woken up by poking it in the eye, so I'm going to Steevies till she calms down"

"Good idea, tell her that I called and that I'll be here within the week, oh, and tell her that I'm bringing a … friend"

"A girlfriend?" he asked mockingly. I smiled at the irony of his words.

"Something like that" I answered. I don't want to admit my sexuality over the phone.

"Whatever, I'll tell her"

"Thanks" I said relieved that the dreaded call was over.

"Bye"

"Bye".

I hung up the phone. I grinned at what madness was happening in the house right about now.

"What are you grinning at?" Rob asked me.

"Nothing, just my little brother got stuck between the banisters of the stairs!"

"I can't wait to meet your family!" he declared standing up. And, kissing me briefly, ran upstairs throwing an 'I'm going to pack' at me.

"I can," I muttered watching him run upstairs.

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So what do you think, loved it hated it? Please tell me, oh and even flames are welcome!

And to all those out there who think this is sick, I just want to say that, I didn't force you to read this!


	2. the 'misadventure'

First off, I am so amazed at how many people liked this, I was a bit apprehensive at first, and wasn't really sure how people would take it... but the reviews certainty changed my mind!

Thank you everyone! Replies to your reviews are at the end of the chapter.

There might be a bit of a wait for chapters to come, but that's because I'm doing my junior cert this year (that's a very important test year, national thing ......) BUT I'll try my best!

Warnings: FrancisOMC of the slash kind. AU.

Disclaimer: the exact same thing in chapter one.

Summery: ditto.

Chapter two: the 'Misadventure' 

Two days after my call home, we set out. I decided to drive, rather than catch a plane. Was not my best moment. I knew that the trip in the car would be at least ten hours long, I think I was a bit drink then... can't really remember. When I told Rob about my 'brilliant' plan he just stared at me and laughed. But after I gave him the 'Francis stare of death' he realised I was serious. It's amazing how, in only a couple of seconds, a persons' whole face can go from complete happiness to utter horror in one second.

Even when we were packing our junk into the car he was still asking me if 'I was sure' and that I wouldn't 'consider another possibility.' I told him to shut up.

So there we were, driving right across the country. In temperatures of about 40 degrees! Luckily we had a newer car, one that Rob's parents got him because 'he was feeling sick' if I was sick Lois would just say 'oh, quit lying and clean your bedroom.' I have brilliant parents don't I? This car also had air conditioning, which I was grateful for and a proper radio, not those cheap things you get in a second hand shop.

What's the worst thing that could happen in the desert? Getting lost? Try getting lost with the best map there is. I couldn't read the stupid thing! Even Rob tried to read it, and he was worse at it than me. So much for a 'highly evolved brain.' Luckily there was a small town nearby.

The bad news was that there was no signs telling us where we were and we didn't hear or see any form of life. Getting lost really sucks.

"Well I looked around, it only took ...... about a minuet, you know what, only you would get us lost in a ghost town!" Rob said, he decided to check out if there was any indication as to where we were. And of course he has to be sarcastic at the worst possible time!

"Did you see anything?" I asked. Ignoring his sarcasm.

"Yes, there's probably only three buildings in this whole place, and there's no one home"

"Did you look for any signs?"

"No I didn't, I'm so stupid that I forgot to see where we are!" he said sarcastically. I'm going to hurt him.

"Did you check inside the buildings?" I asked trying to see down the town but so much dust was blowing around you would've thought this was a very bad western movie.

"Yes"

"And?"

"Population of zero and major crowding in the suburbs."

"There has to be someone here, come on" and with that both of us went in to look. I could here Rob muttering things that sounded suspiciously like 'I knew this would happen'. So much for support. Well I suppose it is kind of my fault, but he decided to go, so it's HIS fault! There were a bit more than three houses in the town, but still not much. I looked around. There were a few buildings that looked like shops, but the windows were so covered in dust and cobwebs that I couldn't be sure.

"Sometimes I say to myself 'who are the little people?' well even the little people were too good for this town" rob said. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to hit him. I did the later.

"Ok, ow!" he aid after I punched him in the arm. "Bloody, oversensitive peasant" he muttered. I laughed at that.

"Snob" I retorted.

"Indeed" he said with mock British posh ness. (No offence to any Brits out there!)

I did the only thing a loving boyfriend would do. I pushed him into this shallow well.

And Rob, being a loving boyfriend as well, pulled me into the water as with him.

And so the circle of life continues.

(Mad story behind that sentence. I was in English, the class was reading 'Wuthering Heights' absolutely HATE the fucking thing, and, our English teacher is slightly mad, well quite mad my friend says that he has a stash of magic mushrooms in his cupboard, anyway after Heathcliff kills himself and the mood is generally gloomy, one of the boys in my class goes "you'd think he'd get over her" and another one, just to be smart goes "And so the circle of life continues". Completely stupid I know, it was funny at the time! On with the chapter.........)

We spent a good ten minutes trying to drown each other. But decided to get out before we drown flood the whole place. We climbed out shivering. That's when I realised actually how cold the water was. Strange, it was in the middle of the desert.

"Ok, now that we're both wet and tired-"

"Do you know how bad that sounds" I said tis time. It was my turn to be sarcastic. Rob just glared at me.

"- Let's get the hell out of here!" he finished.

I noticed that we were both dry. Which just totally confused me. Mom always said that I had a peanut for a brain, well now I suppose it now exploded. Spent way too much time thinking before I act. So unlike me.

"Did we just fall into water?" I asked Rob.

"Yes, you eejit!" Rob said. I noticed he was soaked.

"Well then why am I dry?"

"You were in the water with me you couldn't be dry. Unless you're some alien or something......."

"I'm not an alien, maybe you are!" I said.

"Whatever."

We walked over to the well again. Despite our splashing, the ground around the well was dry. You would never think there was anyone splashing about here. And I noticed that the water didn't even have faint ripples. Well water dose settle quickly, but the sun can't dry that quick!

"Erm... do you know how long it takes for the sun to dry that much water?" I asked rob.

"Not that quick anyway!" he laughed. It was a nervous laugh though. Rob's family are a very superstitious family. Anything slightly paranormal freaks them out.

He started examining the ground around the well where the water spilled. He then went around behind the building beside it. Suddenly getting the chills I caught up with him. This place was really freaking me out! And I mean really freaking me out. Reese would be so disappointed in me...

Like I care.

"Hey Francis, I just noticed something!" Rob said suddenly, turning to face me.

"What?" I asked.

"You notice all the wild dust ball things?"

"Yes" I said, receiving a mouthful of dust. Typical.

"Well where's the wind? Do you feel any breeze?" he asked. I only just realised now. He was right. It was like a storm out here but I felt nothing and even Rod, who was sopping wet, felt no slight breeze. The 'dust balls' however, were flying around the place like mad things.

"No, I never noticed that before!" I exclaimed.

"Well you wouldn't. Strange isn't it? God I feel like inspector Frost!" trust him to joke at a time like this.

He looked at me laughing like it was the joke of the century. But suddenly a loud creaking noise came from behind us, and without thinking we just legged it out of there!

We both jumped into the car and I drove off as quickly as possible. Rob was laughing again, but this time it was from relief. I started laughing as well, and before we knew it, we were both in stitches with laughter. I stopped as the side of the road about ten miles away to let Rob get out of the wet clothes.

As he was getting his cloths out he handed me a pair of binoculars. I looked through them towards where the town was. I almost dropped them when I couldn't find the town. I passed them to Rob, who, being the master of speed dressing, was changed already.

"Creepy huh?" I asked him. He just nodded in response.

Quickly wanting to totally erase that chapter of my life I took out the map again and tried to make heads or tails out of it. After a while I finally located where we were, we were about ninety miles from the nearest town.

We recovered slightly after a quick bite to eat and then continued on till we reached a diner. Rob slept the whole time. I just wanted to sleep. But I stayed awake long enough to book us a room at this tiny hotel, wake Rob and dragged him off to the diner to get something to eat.

Luckily for us, there were people there. I swear, I never going to be able to watch a western movie ever again. If anyone so much as mentions the word 'western' I will hurt them.

"That was one hell of a day!" Rob commented when we got to our room.

"Glad you liked it" I said, and without even bothering to get changed I crawled into the bed, turned off the lights and fell asleep. I felt Rob slip in behind me and wrap his arms around me.

"Tomorrow, we're going to the nearest airport and flying the rest of the way" Rob muttered before he fell asleep.

"Good idea." I said and I too fell asleep.

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Yay I finished it, finally. This took me a week to write! Seriously. I'm currently sick and in pain, but I still drag my drugged ass to the computer to finish this for you all! Feel honoured!

Oh, and don't forget to drop a review!

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**Ems:** **I'm glad you like this! And I'm trying my best to get the chapters out in time! Sorry if I 'frustrated' you so much!** P

**Kitty-Black-Heart: I don't know if this counts as progress, but I'm getting there! I'm kind of made this chapter as a 'misadventure' chapter! I hope you continue reading and, of course, reviewing!**

**Matilda: I'm sorry I didn't update as soon as I could have, but hey, at least I got it out! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Mikey: I hope you like this chapter. Please continue reading!**

**Tyreta: I'm glad you pointed some of these things out. But truthfully, I don't like Eric. And Carlton so pisses me off! (Honestly!) I can't stand either of them. Of course I did consider Eric, but then it wouldn't really fit into the whole my-boyfriends-rich-so-deal-with-it plot. And about Malcolm and Reese being gay; it has been done before, I just want to write something totally originally in this category! Anyway, please keep reading. And I hope I have explained your review okay! I really appreciate these kinds of reviews, they help me get better, and give me a better understanding into certain things I'm not sure of!**

**The-Truus: I'm glad you like this that much! I've never had a reader who would die if I don't get the chapters out in time before...**

**Pyro Dragon 117: I'm glad you love it so much! (That's a lot of love by the way!) I hope you enjoy this! **

**Anna Lavendel: that was my first review by e-mail! I'm so honoured! It was your review that made me finish this. I mean, if someone took time to write e-mail to me, must certainly like it! And I really don't mind about you e-mailing me. It would be much easier if everyone did! (I don't check my account as often then I used to!)**

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Thanks again to everyone that reviewed. I'm hoping to get the next chapter out my next Sunday, but don't count on it just yet!


	3. meet the parents

Hey I'm back!

The last couple of days were quite hectic, but this week it's mid term, so I'm hoping to have at least four chapters out by next week.

I spent three days in a complete author's block, so I was of no use there! I also spent the last few days at the stables, I even went straight after school, so I found absolutely no time, but on Sunday i have this huge Irish dancing competition (if I win this I'll be going to the world championships) and I might be able to write there. (Once, I was waiting for three hours for the results!)

And a few people were a bit confused by my last chapter, let me explain, it wasn't my idea, I was discussing a book with my friends, and one of them went 'hey, imagine that they're gay and they get lost in a ghost town' and the light lit up. (Like in cartoons when the little light bulb appears!) So I used it.

Also, if anyone has any brilliant idea for a chapter, please tell me and I'll write it and dedicate it to you!

Replies to your reviews are at the bottom.

Oh and I've got Ozone's song in my head, dose anyone know what language it is in? 'Cos it is really annoying! I like it but I find it really annoying. (Doesn't everyone!)

Warnings: AU, slash (FrancisOMC)

Summery: see chapter one.

Disclaimer: see chapter one.

**A/N: does anyone know where the family lives?! Please tell me if you do! **

Chapter two. Meet the parents.

We took the bus from the airport. No adventures there thank god, but sometimes adventure helps the time go by. Although, I spent five hours in a plane with these airhostesses, whose tops were like four sizes too small, which kept pushing their cleavage into my face 'accidentally'. I think they're paid to do that. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I was gay. Betcha Reese would have loved it though… horny bastard.

As we entered the family's neighbourhood, I was gradually regretting my call home. Then I wondered what state the house would be in when we get there. Lois never bothers to clean up whenever I come home, and even though I've been going out with rob for six months now, I still feel a bit ashamed at my own living environment.

The first thing I notice is that the garden was covered with junk. Nothing unusual there… my brothers have always been useless when it comes to cleaning. Although I had to grin when I remember what I myself used to do whenever it was a clean up day, I would either hide everything in the closet or under the bed. Once I flushed some of my stuff down the toilet… as you can guess my mom wasn't very happy.

I hesitated before I rang the doorbell, just relishing the peace before my mom finds out about me. Rob was grinning at my hesitation.

"Are you really that afraid of your mother?" he asked me. I stared at him in disbelief. Afraid barley covers it.

"Not so much afraid as absolutely terrified" I said

"That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea"

Rob kissed me briefly on the lips for reassurance and I rang the doorbell. The first thing I heard was a loud crash and Lois screaming. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

Malcolm opened the door. He was covered in jam.

"Hey Malcolm, did I come at a bad time"

"You always come at a bad time!" he said happily. I was glad that at least one person was happy to see me.

The next thing I knew I was receiving a very sticky jammy hug. I must have made a face because i heard Rob laughing behind me.

"Who's he?" Malcolm asked letting go at me to look at Rob. How polite. I looked down at myself; I was covered in jam as well. I'm so going to get him for that.

"Malcolm, meet Rob…" I said. Malcolm shook Rob's hand. "… My boyfriend"

There, out and straight to the point. My family was never known for it's subtly. Malcolm just stared at me then at Rob and back to me. And then he laughed.

"Oh, great joke Francis!" he laughed. Ok, this is going to be harder than I thought. But when he saw that we weren't laughing he stopped.

"You're serious, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes" I said putting my arm around Rob's waist.

Malcolm just stared at us for the longest time.

"Malcolm, shut the door, you're letting in a draft!" I heard Lois yell.

"Mom, Francis is here," he said still staring at us.

I heard her walking, no thundering to the door. She stopped when she saw me and adopted this huge smile that told me that she had something against me. I mentally shuddered.

"Hi, Francis, how much do you want?" she asked. Typical mom.

"Er… I'm just visiting mom."

"Isn't that nice and who is this?" she asked looking at Rob. I opened my mouth to say something when Malcolm blurted out.

"He's Francis' boyfriend!" and, realising what he said, clamped his hands over his mouth. Lois looked at me in disbelief; I nodded to tell her that it's true.

"What!" if I wasn't the one she was staring at, I would have found this funny, but sadly it's not someone else.

"Er, hi Mrs. Wilkerson" (I think that's the second name, tell me if I'm wrong) Rob said, breaking the silence. He held out his hand for her to shake. She stared at him first as if assessing him, and to my relief, she smiled and shook his hand. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, glad that she accepted him.

"Well, you best come in then" she said, and she turned briskly around and went to the kitchen. I gave Rob an 'I told you so' sort of look, he just raised one eyebrow.

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Well that's the chapter done, it might be a bit short, but I wanted to end it like that.

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**Hipa: I hope you liked this chapter; I wasn't really sure how to go about it. I'm, glad you like this though, keep reading!**

**Pyro Dragon 117: it was a freaky chapter, but I'm really happy that you like this so much! Please keep reading, and I hope you enjoy this.**

**Matilda****: I got my chapter title from your review! Thanks, and keep reading!**

**PlainTosee****: I always appreciate another writer's opinion, and personally I think the last chapter was a bit shit as well, this is my first fic with a OMC in it, so I'm not exactly sure how to work the character into the fic, but I hope I will soon get it right! And I didn't mean to have the character perfect; I just combined a couple of my friends into the character when I thought of him!**

**Kitty-Black-Heart****: this was a bit of a wait for an update, but I hope you liked this chapter, and I hope you continue reading!**

**Ndonlover8****: that was the reason I wrote this, I just wanted to read a nice MitM slash fic, but I found none, and there was almost no fics with fancies, or even a Francis Piama fic! Anyway, I hope you liked this. And keep reading! **

**Anna Lavendel: I only received your e-mail two days ago, my sister changed my password, so I had to beat the new one out of her (how she got my old one I don't know) I'm so glad that you like this and I hope this chapter meets your expectations. There will be more on Lois and the whole my-first-born-is-gay issue! And Francis slash stories are hard to come by, that is why I wrote this. But because this has never been done before, I hope this meets everyone's expectations. I had a better chapter wrote out than this, but I wrote it at the stables and naturally one of the horses thought it was food and ate it! Anyway, I hope you will continue reading! **

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	4. table conversations and sex Ed

Because the last chapter was so short, this one will be longer, with more humour I hope ……

You see, I don't like my fics; I think they're stupid. Personally I think I'm crap at writing! I'm my own worst critic! (Actually English is my best subject, after science and Art. Maths and Irish goes on the bottom.) But seriously, who likes Maths or Irish! Do I hear no one!

Warnings: AU, slash. Reference to gay sex.

Summery: see chapter one.

Disclaimer: ditto.

Chapter four. Table conversations and sex Ed.

The strangest thing happened, my mom was quiet! Yes, she seemed to be in a state of shock, but knowing her, she'll suddenly blow! And when that happens I'll be safe on the other side of the world.

And it's all Malcolm's fault.

We went to my room to dump our bags. I wasn't rushing things, because some lecture of some sort was defiantly coming! When I got into the safety of my room, I let out a breath of air. Looking at Rob, I could tell that he wasn't so sure about this visit after all.

"Your mom is scary" he commented when we entered. I just laughed, more out of relief that Lois even let us in the house, than out of humour.

"It's not funny, either!" he protested. "I seriously thought that she was going to throw me out!"

I laughed again, and gave him a big hug. Anyone who survives a first meeting with my mom deserves a hug. Especially him. Because she never seemed to like any girlfriends I used to bring home, what about boyfriends! Well it would be educational to say the least.

Rob buried his head on my shoulder, obviously dreading what might come. I heard a cough behind me, it was Malcolm.

"Mom wants you to come for dinner," he said. And then he left the room as quickly as possible. Whatever I expected of Malcolm's reaction was far different than the real thing. He seemed to be in denial that his oldest brother is gay. But, honestly, i didn't give a fuck.

"Come on" I said to him, quietly.

"Do we have to?" he asked still not moving out of my arms.

"Yes."

I had to drag him to the dinner table, I'm certain that whatever idea he had of my family was out the window. It was kind of cute actually, first he couldn't wait to go and now that he's here, he wants to be gone. I noticed that Reese seemed to have his plate full already, at least he's the same old Reese; stupid and greedy! Just like me. I sat down on the nearest chair and Rob sat beside me, he was nervous, I could tell, because whenever he gets nervous, he picks at his nails.

"Hi Francis" Reese said; only noticing my presence now.

"When did you get here?"

"About half and hour ago" I said.

"Cool" and the he took some pork chops that were just placed on the table.

When everyone was seated, a rare silence surrounded us. No one seemed to want to break that silence.

"Who's that?" asked Dewy suddenly, pointing at Rob. I smiled to myself, same old Dewy as well.

"Don't be rude" snapped Lois.

"My name is Robert Roderigo. (Got that name out of a book!), you can call me Rob, if you want" he told Dewy. Dewy looked at him as if studying him.

"Are you from Canada?" he asked. I noticed that Rob tried to contain a smile.

"No, Italy" he said.

"Do Italy people speak English?" he asked.

"Italians" My mom told him. "They're called Italians."

"No, they speak Italian" Rob said, smiling.

"So is Italy, the same as Atlantas?" he asked, Rob looked at me briefly with confusion written on his face. I just smiled at him to tell him that he was doing fine.

"No, why do you think that?"

"Well they sound the same" Rob looked taken aback for a moment, and then he grinned at Dewy.

"I suppose they do"

"Where is Italy?" Reese asked.

"In Europe, dumb ass!" Malcolm replied. "Don't you ever look at an atlas?"

"Only Freaks and Krelbines read Atlases."

"Yeah, and only idiots don't!" Malcolm retorted.

I knew this would soon turn into an all out fight, so I interrupted their little name-calling fest.

"So what did you guys do when I was away?" I asked.

"Nothing" was the general answer.

"Okay then" I said.

"Robert" Lois said. I held my breath, this could get dangerous.

"Please, call me Rob, everyone dose" Rob said, trying not to make eye contact.

"Rob, so what do your parents do?" she asked. Good, she was only trying to make conversation.

"My dad owns a company and my mom works out of the country," he said, trying not to reveal how well off he actually is.

"And what dose you mom do?" she asked.

"She designs clothes and stuff, for magazines and stuff. She works in Italy," He said.

"Is she away a lot?"

"Most of the time I'm on my own, but on holidays sometimes she's home. Although when I was small, the maid used to always look after me."

"Maid?" She asked.

"Yeah… they hired her because my parents were never home" he said.

"So… Malcolm tells me that you're… gay?" My dad asked looking at me. Unexpected.

"Er… yes, I was going to tell you myself." I said, pointedly staring at Malcolm.

"And that your… the boyfriend?" he asked Rob. Rob just nodded.

"Well… I'm happy for you" he said, I wasn't sure that he was convinced though. I just looked at Rob to reassure him. Again.

"Wait a minute! So you're telling me that Francis lives with another guy?" Reese asked. He was never the brightest light on the tree.

"Yeah" I said.

"Cool" he said, and he was back to eating his third helping of Shepard's pie.

Stupid is not the word.

"Don't you know what that means?" Malcolm said. He can't stop blabbing it out can he?

Reese just shrugged, his mouth crammed full with food.

"Malcolm" I said. He looked at me expectantly. "Shut up." And I punched him on the arm. Hard. Malcolm just gives me this look. He deserves it.

"Francis, don't hit your brother. Reese swallow for goodness' sake!" Lois said sternly. I gave Malcolm a look, he shot one back. And that continued for about a minute when we both burst out laughing. Lois looked ready to kill.

* * *

Later the whole family, Rob and myself sat down in front of the T.V to watch some Saturday night comedy. It actually felt quite strange not being able to cuddle up with Rob. Which we did since we got together. Malcolm and Reese sat between us. Obviously Lois was scheming something. I wonder how much they got paid. 

We were watching some sketch about Homos. It was actually quite funny. A bit, it had quite a lot of gay bashing though. Thinking back, I would probably have laughed at it, but after my time with Rob, we've experienced a lot of Homophobic comments. Some people are just so immature. It was a general hetero understanding to the gay community, you know … all pink and girly.

"Wait a minute!" it was Reese. He sat up and stared at the T.V.

"What?" Asked dad.

"Those two guys sleep together!" he said pointing at the screen.

"Er… yes, son… just… watch the T.V" oh my god! He was embarrassed. I had to cover my mouth to hide the huge grin on my face. Reese only stayed quiet for a few minutes. But I knew he had a lot of questions.

"But, how would they have sex?" he asked dad. His eye twitched a little and I noticed he just went very pink behind the ears.

"Use your imagination Reese!" Malcolm whispered.

Reese screwed up his eyes as if he was trying to see something far away.

"Nope, sorry, can't" he said.

"Are we going to have to go through another one of these episodes?" Malcolm whined. "It's just like when you're with a woman only one man has to ………"

"I think I left the car light on!" said dad very quickly, and then he ran out of the room. Oh well, it might take time for him to accept. Mom was trying very hard not to listen, I could tell, she gets this little tick on her temple when she's suppressing anger, or when she's about to interrupt someone.

"So, wait, does Francis do that?" it was Reese, I must have spaced off there and missed some very important points in Malcolm's lecture.

"Well that's generally what a guy would do if he lived with another guy"

"Francis, do you do that?" Reese asked me. I still had absolutely no idea what they were on about.

"Do what?" I asked. "Sorry I kinda spaced out back there" I said.

"Stick your dick up men's arses?" well, ten points for bluntness. I just stared at him for a moment. I looked at Rob to see what he thought of the conversation, Strangely enough, he was laughing.

"You could say that" I answered Reese. "Although, strangely enough, that's not the weirdest way it has been described," I said, trying to lighten the mood with a joke. The others just stared at me, except Rob, who muttered something and left towards my bedroom.

"Joke, guys, joke" I explained.

"That's disgusting!" Reese said. I didn't really know what to make of this. Seriously.

"You might think it's disgusting, but not everyone shares your views!" I snapped back. Reese still didn't look moved though.

"And what about that other guy, the one that was here a minute ago, is he just a friend, or do you … you know?"

"No I don't, what do I do?" I couldn't help but tease them for a bit. It fun to make your siblings squirm.

"Have sex with him" he said.

"Yep" I said simply. No point in denying I suppose, thank god dad left.

"With him?" Reese asked pointing in the direction Rob went.

"Yes" I said.

"Really?"

Irritating.

"Yes!" I said. "Why is that so hard to understand?" I exclaimed.

"Well, first off, you used to like girls" I nodded to tell him it was true. "But now you sleep with this guy …"

"He has a name," I said.

"Yeah, whatever, anyway, how did you suddenly change from liking girls to liking boys?"

I was silent for a minute. Yes that was a good question, because I could always remember liking all these women, but when did men come into the picture? Hmm, I'll have to ponder over that for a while.

"Reese, I can honestly say I have no idea!" I said, laughing.

"Oh"

"Why's that so important anyway?"

"I just find it slightly confusing is all." Reese said sighing. I was not exactly sure what was going on here, this is not Reese acting all silent and thoughtful, the Reese I knew would be out burning something by now.

"Love is love," said a voice near us. We all spun around to see mom. Who was still watching the T.V.

"What?" we all asked. This has got to be the first time she ever said anything in a normal tone.

"I said 'love is love' now shut up and watch the T.V!" yep that's my mom. We remained as quiet as possible, not wanting to anger her more. We were all still a bit bemused at her explanation of love. It really did explain a lot.

"Hey Francis?" Malcolm asked me in a whisper.

"What?" I answered back.

"Doesn't that not hurt Rob?" he asked.

"What?"

"Sticking your dick up him?"

I could only grin, it seems Malcolm is more curious than I thought!

* * *

Ok, I hope you guys out there enjoyed this! It certainty took me some time to write anyway! 

So please drop a review, any kind, be it praise or flame!

Here are my replies to your reviews!

**Yuki Kurai: ****I hope you liked these reactions … please keep reading!**

**Hiro No Tsuki: ****creepy, that explains the feeling I had that someone was watching me! I'm glad you like this, the story line itself probably has a bit of copying somewhere, and I tried to make it original! Keep reading, oh and review too!**

**Rchan2: ****the thing about 'the things the matter' is that I had my whole storyline written out, but sadly got eaten by my dog, then I managed to write fairly the same content but it fell into a fire. So generally, the things that matter is on hold for a few days at least, I'm planning to have it up before December though! I also have some tests coming up, my junior cert, so I'm swamped with the amount of homework and study, but I'm glad that you still look for updates on it! Really glad!**

**Hipa: ****I hope this one was at a satisfactory length? (That sounds so bad!) I'm glad that you like this! Although I don't think very much happened in this chapter, you'll get Rob's views of the family probably in the next chapter! Please keep reading, oh and review as well!**

**Pyro Dragon 117: ****I decided to make Malcolm the one to tell everyone, because then I'll have to spend half and hour on Francis trying to explain to his family that he's gay, and that'll take me a lifetime and the update would be even longer! **

**Matilda: ****I hope you found a good way to wait, I'm sorry tis took so long, I know I said in my last update that this would be up within that week, but things pop up, like dancing competitions and journeys down to the stables and what not … I hope you liked this and will leave a review!**

**Byproduct Of Evil: ****I hope this met your expectations! Please keep reading! And thanks for telling e the language of the ozone song. **

**Anna Lavendel: ****(sorry if you name's spelt wrong!) as you can see, no mishaps on Rob's part yet, but it's early days… keep e-mailing me (or reviewing) with your ideas! **

**If anyone has any ideas, queries or comments you want me to know about just e-mail me.**** Just put the keyword as 'Francis' odyssey' and I will reply back. **


	5. Arguments and Apologies

Okay Folks. I'm back from my internet vigil!

A/N: You see, during my four months (or so) of no updates, a lot has happened.

First of all, assuming anyone wants to read this, my wrists were sprained, which obviously affected my writing. Then when they healed I was 3 day eventing (dressage, cross country and show jumping) with Virgo, my hyper pony, and of course he decided it would be fun to throw me off in the water, and me being stupid held onto the reins and got dragged resulting to more damage to my wrists. (I think Virgo really enjoyed that) and then my landline was disconnected FOR FIVE BLOOMIN' WEEKS! While waiting for broadband, and then I got a serious case of writers block. Then the computer broke. THEN at Christmas I got the Sims2 which my sister is absolutely obsessed with so I can never really find a time for my writing.

Then Virgo tore a ligament in his left foreleg, (he fell into a ditch, some animals can be really stupid!) so now he can barely walk and I'm at the livery yard, where I keep him, constantly.

Anyway, it's finally here. The next chapter!

A/N2: this might be a little short just to get me back into the 'flow' of writing. (My English teacher says that and he's a bit batty really. We reckon he has a stash of magic mushrooms in his filing cabinet)

Warnings: AU, FrancisOMC slash.

Disclaimer: see chapter one.

Summery: chapter one as well.

Chapter 5. Argyments and Apologies.

That night, Rob and I just lay there on the bed in silence, the day's events running through our thoughts. Personally I thought my family took it quite well, at least as well as my family can take news like that. I was kind of expecting mom to at least make some sort of homophobic comment, but nothing. I was a bit surprised about dad's reaction though. He didn't seem to want to talk about it much. Although I wouldn't blame him. Reese was probably still trying to figure out how two men can have sex and Malcolm is probably still in shock. A bit strange really, I thought he was the most level headed person in the house.

Dewy and Jamie just accepted it, although Dewy can be kind of open minded.

As we lay there thinking I heard mom and day close the door to their room, which was right beside mine. I could hear them whispering, it was like they didn't want anyone to hear what they were saying. Although, the walls in this house are pretty thin so as their voices got louder I could hear them.

"– and if the neighbours found out- "that was dad.

"Stop it, Hal, they won't find out if we don't tell them!" why did I get the notion that I know where this argument is going.

"Oh, they'll find out alright, they know things Lois!"

"So you're embarrassed of him?"

"No- it's not that - it's just – NO!" dad stuttered, obviously trying not to anger mom.

"Hal, if you're embarrassed jut say so!"

"But – it's just – I'm not – I can't – "

"Just admit it if you are!"

"Ok, maybe a little"

I could not believe what I was hearing; dad was embarrassed at my sexual orientation! This was not what I expected from dad at all!

"So you're a homophobe?"

"NO, I just – the idea – two men – I just don't think it's right!"

"That makes you a homophobe, Hal"

I couldn't believe that mom was defending me; I expected it to be the other way around with dad defending me and mom being embarrassed and homophobic. Well I suppose you can't judge a book by its cover. I looked at Rob who was sitting up and listening intently, as if waiting for some sort of insult to be said about him. I could have mad some comment about nosey people, but decided against it.

"But I can't be! I know gay people, I don't hate them!"

"Hal, you don't know any gay people."

"Yes I do!"

"Name one then."

"Err – "

"Next time don't lie!"

This could have been a very humorous scenario, if I wasn't the issue being discussed.

"So, what if I don't agree with it! So what if I think it is wrong and immoral! I'm not homophobic" god, that man is in great denial!

"Hal, listen, if you don't agree with it and think its wrong, then that's being homophobic"

"I'm not though!"

"So if you were to walk in on two boys kissing, you would just go 'afternoon boys' and walk away?"

I snickered at that.

"Erm – yeah - yeah – of course!" I rolled my eyes at the obvious lie.

"Right. So what did you think of his boyfriend?" mom asked, keen to change the subject, but obviously still determined to prove dad's homophobia.

"Err – he was nice"

"I thought he was very polite!" mom said.

"Yeah"

"And had great table manners"

"Right"

"And he was even polite to Dewy!"

"So he's brilliant then is that it Lois? Why don't you go marry him if you think he's so perfect!" dad snapped. I could already hear the sirens.

"I did not say he was perfect, Hal, I was merely saying that he seems to be a very nice person!"

Dad mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "For a whore". I couldn't believe what I was hearing; he was calling my own boyfriend a whore! I looked over a Rob, to see if he heard, he did. He had a look of complete disbelief on his face and I was certain that he was going to cry. I took him in my arms and kissed him soundly to reassure him that it he wasn't a whore.

"Hal, I can't believe you said that!" Mom shouted. I was sure that the whole house was awake and listening.

"But I think it's true, I mean did you look at him! How obvious can you get?"

"So you mean that just because he looks gay, he's automatically a whore?"

"NO – Well – No!"

"Hal, this is a big deal, they are going to receive a lot of homophobic comments towards them, the last thing they need is to receive them from you! YOU'RE SUPPOST TO BE SUPPORTIVE! AND I DON'T THINK CALLING FRANCIS' BOYFRIEND A WHORE IS SUPPORTIVE!" wow, angry, angry person!

"It's not like that Lois I-"

"Just go to sleep Hal"

Then silence filled the room, I sat there, still holding Rob, who had his head pressed onto my shoulder, still shocked by what dad had said. After about ten minutes, I heard a knock on the door. Then I heard the door open. I looked over to see Malcolm, Reese and Dewy standing there.

"We just want to say, we're sorry, if we didn't treat you right" the said to Rob, who was looking at them worriedly as if they were going to say something offensive to him. I saw him relax when they apologised though.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for any comments I might have made" Malcolm said.

"Yeah, I hope you forgive us. We just – we were just not really sure how to react, that's all. We really do want to be friends" Reese said. I was surprised that he knew that he did wrong.

Rob looked at them for a moment, as if to make sure they weren't joking.

"Sure, of course I'll forgive you!" he said smiling. "And I really want us to be friends as well!"

"Yeah, and you can listen to this piano piece I made!" Dewy said with excitement. He really liked composing piano pieces.

"Yeah, I'd like that" Rob said.

"Oh, and we don't think you're a whore either" Malcolm said.

"Thanks"

"Ok, we're all happy and friends, now get the hell out of my room!" I said laughing. My three brothers left the room smiling.

"That was harsh" Rob said when hey left.

"Don't worry; you'll soon learn to control them like me!" I joked!

* * *

PLEASE DROP A REVIEW ON YOUR WAY OUT! 

Okay, so I've got chapter five done! (Huge cheer comes from an imaginary crowd)

And now my replies to your reviews!

**Byproduct of evil:**** I'm really happy you think this is a good slash fic, to be honest I think it's a bit weak! Oh, and about maths, my mom likes maths… please keep reading! **

**Jaded Havok: ****I hope this chapter was like that as well! I'm sorry for the long update! Keep reading and don't forget to drop a review!**

**Hipa:**** I thought that as well about Hal, but after watching a lot of MitM and reading about it, I think this chapter is accurate enough as to how Hal would react! I hope you agree with me, but if you don't, it doesn't really matter! I hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway, and I hope you keep reading!**

**Matilda:**** I defiantly did not update soon, but I do hope you find this chapter and read it! I'm glad you think my stories are good! I need a little encouragement! Thanks, and keep reading! **

**Pyro Dragon 117:**** I'm not exactly sure weather Lois's anger is what you expected, but I hope you liked this chapter and keep reading!**

**Kitty-Black-heart:**** I'm happy you caught up with the fic, and I hope you liked this as well, please keep reading! My updates are a bit slow at the moment though… **

**Chibidark angel:**** wow, and Irish reader! I'm glad you liked the reactions, and funny thing is, I've got a lot of reviews saying the Malcolm/Reese seem a bit thoughtful about the whole gay thing, but honestly, I did not mean anything by it, that's just how the chapters ended up! I'm happy someone knows what it's like to study Irish. I've got so many poems learned off; I can't remember any of my French! Go raibh maith agat! And keep reading! ;-)**

**Sexy-as-Ron:**** I take it you like Ron… I'm glad you liked this, please keep reading!**

**Reese&Malcolm slash:**** sorry about the long wait, the paragraph at the start of the page explains my absence from the slash world! **

**: interesting**** choice of pen name. Like I might have mentioned already, my only intention was to make Malcolm a bit curious, I didn't mean anything of it! I actually have quite a few reviewers saying that Malcolm/Reese seem a bit curious. Perhaps I might write something of it, but not in the near future!**

**Hahaha-evil:**** I'm happy you love this; I hope you liked this chapter as well! Keep reading!**


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